Every week we get a new story from Charles “my mum buys my hockey sticks” Offord. Well a new update, his mum got him an early Christmas present and bought his new stick. What a champion!!!
Charles officially man cheated on me this week in midfield with his new Irish heart throb in midfield, David Qualie. Both of them showing perfect one touch passing between them.
The initial passage of play was dominated by David Qualie & Charles Offord, cutting through the Tulse hill midfield, like Thurstan Wolf cutting through awkward chat on a first tinder date at Sam’s chicken in Hanger Lane.
For the initial period of play Chiswick spent the entire time in Tulse Hill half, this was down to a solid press from the front line of Chee, Ramon and Nadish. With three short corners in a row which clipped the outside of the left post Chiswick were turning the screw on Tulse Hill. With Charles Offord’s new stick, his new secret weapon came out to play. His low drag flick. Who knew he could get that low, I guess all those bumble dates midweek must have helped.
The first goal came from the initial play of Sturdy our warrior of the defence, linking with Scott “smelly shirt” Elliott. Then linking to Ramon on the right flank. Who drived the base line to release the ball to David Qualie who put a “slam dunk the funk” shot into the bottom left hand corner.
The second half started as it had in the first, domination that only Thurstan “Christian Grey” Wolf knows about on his business trips to Seattle.
The next goal came from quick play on top of the D. Scott “smelly shirt” Elliott passing to Ramon on the right edge of the D. He dribbled across the base line with Nadish waiting on the p shot for a simple slap across the keeper into the bottom left hand corner.
Minutes later, the magical pairing Charles Offord and David Qualie were stringing passes through the middle. With Nadish waiting in the D to receive the ball, he took a diving slap to beat the keeper. 3-0 to Chiswick.
The 4th goal came from debutant Will, with excellent link up play with Wiebe on the left flank (shocking revelation that he is 32, amazing skin….how does he do it). The final goal came from Chee, with attacking flair from Dave Sturdy on the right flank. Interlinking play with Ramon to Chee to slot the final goal to Chiswick 5-0. Boom!!!
Special mention to James Mason for getting a terrible haircut before the game and to Louis Allwood for not having to do much in goal but bully their forward….so mean!!
MOM: Dave Sturdy - solid tackling & Ramon Bailey – Electric pace
DOD: Louis Allwood - bullying players and not doing much